Starting

This stage involves initial contact and exploration as the partners get to know each other and decide whether or not to establish a relationship. The mentee may look to the mentor for leadership or be quite assertive about their needs.

Both may be pleased to be involved, yet still be unsure about their roles and their ability to meet expectations. It is helpful to have guidelines to assist you to negotiate your expectations and agree how to proceed (see Negotiating and Agreement).

Phase 1:  Starting

Goals	Skills	Strategies
A decision to proceed or not Define the scope of the relationship Determine broad goals Clarify your roles Agree logistics – when, where, how you will have conversations Both state commitment to the relationship	Building rapport and trust Reflective listening Questioning Refraining from providing solutions	Provide some personal background Discuss goals and expectations of mentoring Review mentoring roles, responsibilities, guidelines or code Agree meeting frequency, duration and schedule

Developing

Learning and growth - for both mentee and mentor - is significant in this phase and can produce satisfaction, increased self-confidence and empowerment for both.

During this phase, care must be taken to avoid over-dependence. The mentee needs to be able to make decisions and take responsibility for themselves.

Phase 2:  Developing

Goals	Skills	Strategies
Objectives specified Action plans developed Activities undertaken Regular review of actions and outcomes	Facilitative communication Goals setting and planning Feedback and review	Discuss the mentee's issues, challenges or goals Reflect on mentee's experience Explore options Gather information Access resources Jointly develop plans that the mentee can implement Review actions taken, outcomes achieved and next steps

The mentor’s challenge remains to resist the urge to give advice. The role is to facilitate the process of making decisions, solving problems, setting goals and creating action plans. The mentor's aim is empowerment of the mentee. This does not happen if they are given solutions or told what they should do. When a mentor guides the process that enables the mentee to find their own answers they are laying a foundation for independent problem solving.

Of course there are times when the "answer" is beyond the experience and current capacity of the mentee to find through reasoning. In this case the mentor assists the mentee to access resources that provide information and options from which they may choose.

A mentor does not impose his or her own will on the mentee. However, if they see the mentee choosing a high risk response to a situation, they will help them explore the likely outcomes of such action.

A mentoring relationship involves ongoing learning and development. The mentoring conversation is a continuous process of exploring four questions:

The Mentoring Conversation. Rolfe, A. (2012) Mentoring Mindset, Skills and Tools. Mentoring Works

It is possible that the mentoring will cycle through these questions several times over its lifespan.

Parting

Mentoring that is part of a formal mentoring program will have a finite duration. This helps the mentoring pair to focus their efforts and produce outcomes within a given timeframe. There may be a prescribed closing event that enables participants to give feedback and celebrate successes together.

In an informal mentoring relationship, one of the difficulties may be ending it graciously.   One or both partners may feel that mentoring should end because the mentee’s original needs have been met or because the relationship is not working.  It is important to address the situation by having an open conversation and acknowledging the learning gained from the relationship to date to minimise potential awkwardness. Building in steps to review the relationship at regular intervals will assist with this.

If the mentoring has achieved its objectives, ending can be celebrated and the contribution of the mentor and the accomplishment of the mentee acknowledged.

Some mentoring partners will decide to continue some form of relationship. They work well together having built a bond of mutual respect. So they will find new ways to relate to each other, as peers, friends or professional colleagues.

Phase 3: Parting

Goals	Skills	Strategies
Review mentoring agreement and identify outcomes Provide feedback on the benefits and learnings from the mentoring relationship Closure, celebration	Feedback and review Letting go Graciousness	Review achievements Recognise each other's contribution A continuing relationship

Mentoring Meeting Tools

• Phases of A Mentoring Relationship (.doc)
• Mentee Pre Meeting Thought Document (.doc)
• Mentoring Relationship Plan (.doc)
• Initial Mentor Meeting Conversation Guide (.doc)
• Key Discussion Topics (.doc)
• High Impact Activities To Do With Your Mentor (.doc)
• Action Plan Template (.doc)